And so here it is what I promised so very long ago, that's right, the one, the only, completion on the How to Make Your Girlfriend Dump You POST.
(I'd rather there be no hard feelings between me and anyone of the opposite gender who's read this POST, this was all done in the name of fun, and also for the sake of all those desperate men out there)
I really mean it, after all, I'm such a fun and loving person.
Anyway enough on hearing me rant, so, on to number 6.
(I'd rather there be no hard feelings between me and anyone of the opposite gender who's read this POST, this was all done in the name of fun, and also for the sake of all those desperate men out there)
I really mean it, after all, I'm such a fun and loving person.
Anyway enough on hearing me rant, so, on to number 6.
Number 6:
Pick stupid fights.
Find trivial things that she does and complain about them. A lot.
Start a bitter argument over why she left the toilet seat down. Place a fork in place of the spoons in your kitchen and accuse her of messing up your living space.
Be sure to find fault in the things she takes pride in, like her cooking or her political views. Tell her she's wrong about everything.
And if she ever complains about your attitude, tell her she should quit nagging.
For an extra touch, plug your ears and sing like a third grader. Childish but it works like a charm, trust me women hate guys finding fault with them and nagging them, add childishness to the equation and you get a girl who's ready to blow.
Number 7:
Start the "talk"
When women are the ones doing the dumping, they mask their actions with long-winded explanations.
They feel that couching the break-up between lots of words somehow softens the blow.
Do the same to her. Beat around the bush to the extreme. Say things like, "I'm not sure where this relationship is going," or "I've been thinking about our mutual pursuit of happiness."
When she asks you why, answer with more ambiguity. She'll get sick of it eventually.
For a quicker variation, tell her you need a break, or that you think you should see other people.
Since these are things women normally say in breakups, she might seize the initiative from you and close the deal herself.
If only it were that easy, this works only if she's sick of you as you are of her, wait till you get one that's all devoted to you, I'd like to see you pull it off using this trick.
Number 8:
Compare her to your mother.
There's nothing that turns women off more than a mama's boy.
That said, talk about your mother all the time. Quote her, reminisce about her, and consider what your mom would think about every action you contemplate.
You can even compare your girlfriend to your mother, saying, "That's not what my mom would do." Do the same using ex-girlfriends and you have the ideal recipe.
Never tried this before, but a friend of mine told me about it, said it works like a charm, tough there's a draw back, yup, in the end you make yourself look like a total pussy.
Number 9:
Utter the f-word.
If you're the type who loves to risk the loss of life and limb, take a shot at her appearance. That's right: tell her she's fat.
Don't even wait for her to ask you. Mention it casually like you're talking about the weather. Don't be too blunt, but not too subtle either.
Things like, "You've gained quite a few pounds, huh?" or "Have we been snacking between meals a bit?"
Works fine. If you ask me, more often then not, chances of success with this is close to zero, but hey, it's worth a try, like they say no pain no gain, this however works like magic on those sensitive types.
Number 10:
Cheat on her.
This is the real coup-de-grce ; the end-all and be-all of relationships.
Get it on with a woman and make sure your girlfriend finds out. It can be at a party or a bar where her friends happen to be.
For a real thrill, bring a woman over and time it so your girlfriend comes home to catch you in the act. Then just for fun, deny everything.
Pick stupid fights.
Find trivial things that she does and complain about them. A lot.
Start a bitter argument over why she left the toilet seat down. Place a fork in place of the spoons in your kitchen and accuse her of messing up your living space.
Be sure to find fault in the things she takes pride in, like her cooking or her political views. Tell her she's wrong about everything.
And if she ever complains about your attitude, tell her she should quit nagging.
For an extra touch, plug your ears and sing like a third grader. Childish but it works like a charm, trust me women hate guys finding fault with them and nagging them, add childishness to the equation and you get a girl who's ready to blow.
Number 7:
Start the "talk"
When women are the ones doing the dumping, they mask their actions with long-winded explanations.
They feel that couching the break-up between lots of words somehow softens the blow.
Do the same to her. Beat around the bush to the extreme. Say things like, "I'm not sure where this relationship is going," or "I've been thinking about our mutual pursuit of happiness."
When she asks you why, answer with more ambiguity. She'll get sick of it eventually.
For a quicker variation, tell her you need a break, or that you think you should see other people.
Since these are things women normally say in breakups, she might seize the initiative from you and close the deal herself.
If only it were that easy, this works only if she's sick of you as you are of her, wait till you get one that's all devoted to you, I'd like to see you pull it off using this trick.
Number 8:
Compare her to your mother.
There's nothing that turns women off more than a mama's boy.
That said, talk about your mother all the time. Quote her, reminisce about her, and consider what your mom would think about every action you contemplate.
You can even compare your girlfriend to your mother, saying, "That's not what my mom would do." Do the same using ex-girlfriends and you have the ideal recipe.
Never tried this before, but a friend of mine told me about it, said it works like a charm, tough there's a draw back, yup, in the end you make yourself look like a total pussy.
Number 9:
Utter the f-word.
If you're the type who loves to risk the loss of life and limb, take a shot at her appearance. That's right: tell her she's fat.
Don't even wait for her to ask you. Mention it casually like you're talking about the weather. Don't be too blunt, but not too subtle either.
Things like, "You've gained quite a few pounds, huh?" or "Have we been snacking between meals a bit?"
Works fine. If you ask me, more often then not, chances of success with this is close to zero, but hey, it's worth a try, like they say no pain no gain, this however works like magic on those sensitive types.
Number 10:
Cheat on her.
This is the real coup-de-grce ; the end-all and be-all of relationships.
Get it on with a woman and make sure your girlfriend finds out. It can be at a party or a bar where her friends happen to be.
For a real thrill, bring a woman over and time it so your girlfriend comes home to catch you in the act. Then just for fun, deny everything.
No Happy Ending
Breaking up is hard to do, and sometimes a man just needs a shortcut out, and sometimes you have gotta do, what a man's gotta do.
Once all this is said and done, give yourself a pat on the back.
If you managed to get her to do the breaking up, well done.
(Oh, and if you want to keep a woman and keep her happy, be sure to do the opposite of these 10 tips)
Yours Truly,
The Baker
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